


Giving In

by LeafZelindor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Incest, Jess is a very supportive girl, John Winchester does not handle things well, M/M, S1e01 divergent, Sex, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafZelindor/pseuds/LeafZelindor
Summary: Sam goes with Dean, and faces what he's kept buried for so long, only to find Dean has been hiding too.





	Giving In

God damn Dean, Sam just wanted to kick his brother’s ass if he was honest. The way he just showed up and upended Sam’s life after a few years of peace? Of being normal? It wasn’t something he at all wanted. He had thought he’d moved on from the bullshit and the awkwardness of his family. The strange demands at strange hours, the sleeping in the impala, chasing ghosts and whatever else went bump in the night. Yet here he was in an all to familiar shitty motel room, listening to Dean snore softly. It was almost soothing. He was scared, they hadn’t made any progress finding Dad, he needed to get back to Stanford.

Why was it so hard to keep promises? Why did his life have to be half a lie? A whole lie? Sam rolled over and stared at Dean’s back. He could just make out the rise and fall of the blankets covering his brother. He swallowed, part of him ached to move over and slide into bed behind Dean, to cuddle up to him like they had when they were kids. He felt completely out of sorts, lost. He could go for a walk, call Jess? She’d probably help him. He sighed softly now and moved to sit up, carefully moving. He managed to dress and he slipped from the motel room, making sure he had the key before carefully closing the door behind himself. 

The night air was cool as it brushed around him, soothed him and Sam sighed quietly as he stuffed his hands into in his jacket pockets and headed off down the walkway. He ended up comfortable against the Impala, his phone in his hand. His thumb stroked the keys. It was late, he’d probably not wake Jess up though, he just wanted to talk to her. Screw his head on straight. He carefully punched the familiar number in and let the phone ring in his ear.

“Hey SamSam” Jess answered sleepy but fond, making him smile. “Everything okay? Any sign of your dad?”

“Not as much as I’d like,” he said quietly. He shifted and tipped his head back, he could make out some of the stars above him. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Want to talk about it? Is it Dean?” She asked, and he could hear the shift of the blankets of the bed they shared. He drug his hand through his hair for a moment or two. “Sam?”

“…Remember how I said I ran away from home and I never wanted to go back?” Sam said quietly, wondering how much she'd understand “I might have been lying, but I don’t….”

“You don’t know how to do what you want and still have what you want?” Jess asked quietly. He couldn’t help smiling, she got him, she always got him. He sighed quietly as he considered her question. “It’s about Dean isn’t it.”

Sam’s cheeks flushed even if she couldn’t see him. He didn’t know how she’d gotten that from, that. “Jess…”

“What I get it, he’s hot, if a cocky asshole.” She chuckled softly and then he could picture how she rolled over onto her stomach as she spoke. His own stomach twisted.

“He’s my brother.” He said quietly now. “I shouldn’t….”

“You thought college would help you get over him right? Well clearly it didn’t work. I don’t know what your relationship was before Sam, you never talk about your family or your past and I’ve never pressed…” Jess was thoughtful and her tone soothed him. “Maybe you need to get it out of your system.”

“You want me to fuck my brother?” He couldn’t stop how surprised he felt, how he sounded when he said it to her. 

“I don’t know, do you want to fuck him?” Jess countered and then Sam found himself coughing slightly in surprise. “I saw how you looked at him Sam. It was like, sunlight after clouds on a shitty day. I care about you, but I’m not blind. You have a relationship with him, maybe that’s why things between us are the way they are. Only you can figure it out. I can’t tell you what to do.” 

“Yes you can,” Sam couldn’t help a little smile at that now. 

“I think You should stop overthinking things Sam. You don’t want to ruin your relationship, and I get that, but you know how to read people. I think maybe you should take a step back and watch him too.” Jess yawned a bit now, it reminded him of the time “I’ve got my 8am, any other soul searching before I go back to sleep?”

“….I love you.” Sam said quietly into the phone. 

“But you’re not in love with me,” Jess countered easily. “I love you too. I’ll see you Monday at the latest.”

“Yeah.” He heard the phone click off and it took him an extra moment or two to slowly lower his phone. Jess was too good for him, no other girl would have been so fast, or so willing to understand him, to say that in a phone call. Just the brief interaction of Dean and Jess had told her more about his relationship with his brother than he’d ever let slip. He sighed heavily and slowly the phone slipped back into his pocket. They had to finish this, find Dad, and then he could go back to school and maybe get his head screwed back on right. He stared at the stars a little longer before he wandered back to the motel room.

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice was sleep heavy. “Where did you go?” Sam couldn’t stop a little smile at the question, he let the door close and locked it again.

“Couldn’t sleep, just went for a walk,” He said softly, voice low. “Go back to sleep Dean.”

“mmm M’sorry Sammy.” Dean murmured quietly now. Sam couldn't stop the surprised look on his face, then sighed and moved to shuffle over to the bed he’d claimed two hours ago. 

“Don’t Dean. You didn’t do anything wrong.” he murmured quietly, hoping Dean would let it drop.

“I drove you away,” Dean yawned and then rolled over, Sam could almost make out the softness of his sleepy eyes in the darkness. “I drug you out here even though you didn’t wanna come.”

“It’s Dad, I get it.” Sam shifted before sighing and leaned down to get his shoes off. He tried not to focus on Dean's body as it shifted again and instead moved to stretch himself out once his shoes were off. “You didn’t drive me off. I chose to go to college…”

“I could have done more to support you, not ignore you for four years. It’s not like I’ve been with Dad the whole time.” Dean muttered almost under his breath. Sam felt like his brother’s eyes were watching him too intensely from his bed. He rolled onto his side and tried to search those familiar eyes out in the dim light. 

“You did what you thought you should.” Sam admitted slowly. “Dad told me if I was going to go that I should go, and he told you to do what you’ve always done. I’m not angry with you for staying with Dad. Hell Dean, I was never angry with you over this. Annoyed you drug me away from school yeah, but…”

“I needed you on this,” Dean said firmly. “And I did, everything I could to convince you. I pulled every trick.”

“And it worked. It’s fine Dean.” Sam sighed softly and then he slowly shifted and reached out. Something they’d done when he was 8 and Dean was 12, when Dad left them alone but Sam felt too big to share a bed with his brother. He found Dean’s own outstretched fingers with surprising ease. Their hands gently tangled together like this. He felt soothed to know that Dean still had his back after all this time. It was quiet for several minutes. Their fingers shifted and flexed a little bit. Soft strokes against each other. A shiver ran up his hand as he slowly shifted to lace their fingers instead of just holding Dean's hand. He flexed them slowly now. “…..Can I….”

“Get over here,” Dean whispered and gave a tug. Sam found it easy to slide from his bed and he moved to Dean’s quickly, he crawled into bed much like he had as a little kid. Felt the way that Dean’s arms opened to hold him close. It was something he really had missed, missed since he had hit puberty and Dean had actually refused, saying he was big enough now that he shouldn’t be dependent on his brother. It felt so natural though, to curl into Dean, to rest his head against his upper chest and just listen to his heart beat, hear and feel his steady breaths. He didn’t even jump as Dean’s fingers stroked into his hair slowly, petting. His eyes closed easily and he just breathed in Dean. A little bit of stale sweat, leather, oil, his aftershave, all of it swirled around him and made him relax. 

“We used to sleep like this a lot when you were a kid.” Dean said quietly now and then he gently tangled his hair a bit more and gave a faint tug. Sam’s breath caught a moment. “I missed this.” He whispered. “Missed you…..”

“…Haven’t slept like this since we were kids.” He agreed quietly now and then he shifted a little to get a bit more snug, trying to be the smaller one of them once again, even if it was impossible. 

“I know. We had to stop though Sammy.. Dad…” Dean trailed off at that and then he sighed quiet and heavy. 

“Dad what? Dean?” He tipple this head to try to get a look at him in the dim light. Wishing he could read Dean’s eyes in the dark. “Dean?”

“….He said we had to stop. He saw…” Dean shifted, going tense under him. “He saw how I looked at you and he said if we didn’t stop. If I didn’t stop, he’d beat me so hard I’d never look at another boy again.” 

“Dean I….” He didn’t know what to think now, his mind turned all the information quickly, shocked. “You never touched me.”

“We were too close, he was right.” Dean cleared his throat quietly and then his fingers shifted and now they pressed against his neck and he massaged slowly against his skin. It seemed to relax his older brother and he slowly started to breath a little more relaxed himself. 

“You raised me Dean. You raised me more than he did, you were everything to me.” Sam said softly and then he took a slow breath. “Is this okay? Sharing the bed like this?"

“Sammy, we’re both adults now.” Dean said quietly, his voice a little rough “If you want to be here….” he trailed off quietly now. “You have a girlfriend Sammy, I’m not dumb.”

“Nah, you’re just thick headed.” Sam smiled a little more, a curl of eagerness in his chest. “You always did do best when you were shown exactly what to do.” He leaned up quickly and pressed his mouth into Dean’s, a quick hard kiss that sent a thrill down his spine. It was everything he’d imagined and he started to pull back only to find Dean’s mouth chasing his own eagerly. His brother’s lips were hungry and open and he melted into it, he allowed Dean to kiss him thoroughly. It was easy to relax into it, letting Dean have control of their kisses now that they were actually touching each other so openly. He felt his brother’s fingers against his cheek, how they cupped slowly, slid into his hair again and pulled at it a little. It felt good, it made him want more and his lips parted for Dean’s tongue, settling into kissing back with passion, Sam loved the way it was slowly getting more heated, and he couldn’t bring himself to say stop. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to see how far Dean wanted to go. To see if what he wanted was exactly what Sam wanted.

He found himself being slowly pinned into the bed, that strong familiar hand slid to push up his shirt to touch his skin slowly. A shiver ran down Sam’s spine, and a soft gasp slipped from his mouth as Dean’s lips left his own. The kisses moving to his neck, sucking and kissing downwards carefully. Across his throat. He moaned softly and tipped his head back. “Dean….”

“Tell me to stop Sammy,” Dean whispered against the dip of his clavicle. It was hot, almost a prayer. “Tell me you don’t want this…”

“Fuck….” Sam swallowed and his hand moved to tangle in Dean’s hair. “Don’t stop Dean. Don’t…I do want this.” It was firm, it was desperate. “I want you. I’ve wanted you for as long as I knew what I was feeling when I looked at you.” 

“Fuck Sam….” Dean pulled back, and settled, easily the older man straddled the younger now to look down at him, his eyes glinted on the faint light in the room, it was dark. It was so strangely eery. His breath caught as he considered his younger brother. “Sam I….”

“Fuck me Dean. Please. I want you too. I need you too…” Sam interrupted quickly, his mind made up almost in an instant. He might never get this chance again. A chance to know if it really was what he wanted, how he wanted his brother. He knew he loved Dean, he knew he loved him in more than a brotherly way. “Please…”

“Sam…” Dean’s hands moved again, this time to push at his shirt, to try and get Sam undressed clearly. Sam shifted quickly, using his strength to sit up and kiss Dean hard and fast before he broke the kiss to twist and pull the teeshirt he’d worn to bed off, he threw it aside and grabbed for Dean’s own shirt just as fast. For a few moments they fumbled together, there was no sound but that of the creak of the bed as they shifted and scrambled to strip down. It was hardly the first time they’d been naked around each other, but it was the first time in years, the first time Sam could let himself openly look at Dean and show how much he wanted to look, to touch. Dean leaned in to kiss him again, deeper this time, demanding. Sam submitted easily, his lips parting for his brother’s tongue and he slid his hands around familiar lean sides to Dean's back. Sam pulled him closer, his cock was hard already at the prospect and he felt Dean’s cock brush his making him moan eagerly. 

“Do we have…” He started to ask and Dean pulled back slowly and nodded jerkily. The older man all but dove for his bag, and Sam couldn’t help a laugh at that as Dean crawled back between his legs quickly with a few packets of travel lube. “You are such a boy scout.”

“Nope, but it’s useful for more than just fucking guys.” Dean’s eyes were bright for a moment and playful. Sam couldn’t help a giggle with that before he shifted to kiss him again. 

“Right now I want you to fuck me, so….” Sam coaxed and teased easily now. His legs spread a little more, he already felt hot and wound eagerly, he was nervous too. Dean leaned in to kiss him once more before he pulled back. 

“Prep you like this?” Dean let his fingers brush playfully up the inside of his thigh making a shiver run up Sam's spine. Sam’s eyes fluttered half closed and he nodded a bit rapidly. 

“Please Dean…” His breath caught as he felt those fingers brush lightly against his taint and then slip down to brush against the sensitive ring of muscle. He took a slow breath trying not to let it overwhelm him immediately. It wasn't easy, this was Dean touching him. Dean, not someone who just happened to resemble his brother. 

“Take a slow breath Sammy.” Dean murmured soflty before he shifted his position again. His hands lifting off Sam’s skin making the younger Winchester whine a bit and there was a bit of a crinkle as the plastic packets were ripped open. Sam only had to wait a moment longer before a slicked finger was teasing into him, making him gasp and one hand dropped to grip the cheap motel sheets under his body. “You let a guy do this before? You do it?” Dean asked.

“I’ve…both.” Sam admitted almost a bit shakily, afraid and eager still. “I won't break Dean, I can take it if you don’t….”

“Yeah I bet you can.” Dean breathed out now over him, watching him with a glint of possession in his expression. Sam gasped at the pleasure it made him feel and then he bucked up a little bit. Trying to encourage Dean to move his finger. 

“Dean I’ve waited so long for this please…” Begging he knew but he didn’t want a slow careful love making, not right now. He wanted Dean. He was rewarded for his impatience. The finger pressing deeper into him. “Fuck….”

“Oh Sammy…” Dean’s voice was thick with lust and the finger moved, careful a few thrusts that started to slick his insides some, to help his muscles relax around the touch. He groaned softly as he felt it, his muscles twitching a bit. “You already feel so amazing…” Dean whispered softly, the second finger started in with the first and Sam just let himself feel it, let himself enjoy the way that Dean was taking his time, not treating him like something fragile but pouring how he really felt about Sam into it. He was sure of it. 

Minutes passed and Sam found himself writhing, as he begged for Dean to do more than finger him, his older brother had three fingers in his ass now and was working them steadily, like he was enjoying making Sam beg, maybe he was. “Fuck, Dean, come on!”

“Fuck?” Dean challenged and then the fingers were gone. Sam was gasping and bucking up, whining at the lack. “Oh Sammy… Roll over,” Dean growled now, a demand that Sam was more than happy to give in to. He felt Dean’s hands on his hips, hauling him up onto his hands and knees and he shifted automatically into it, His head dropping as he felt Dean lean over him, kisses moving up his spine before Dean’s cock was, oh fuck actually pushing into him. It was better than anything he’d ever imagined and they’d hardly gotten to this point. 

Dean was slow, and steady with his movements. Not like he was afraid to hurt Sam, but more like he was savoring this in the same way the younger man was. Sam took a deep breath as he felt Dean settle against him, For a long moment it seemed like the older man wouldn’t move, wasn’t going to move. Then he did, Sam shuddered as Dean pulled back and slammed back in, setting a fast pace, not too hard, but enough that the headboard was already starting to thump against the wall. Not hitting hard yet, but it would come. Sam already panted with pleasure. He shook a little and pushed back somewhat, every movement encouraged Dean to be harder with him, to take his pleasure. It felt good, so good being filled like this, taken like this. 

“Fuck…” Sam ground out and then his head dropped somewhat. “Dean… Dean please more Please…” He begged soflty between panting breaths. Dean’s hand slid around his hip to grip his cock and stroked as they moved with each other, then slightly against. The thrusts from Dean became a bit faster than Sam could push back and it felt fucking amazing. The way they came together was making him dizzy with pleasure, he just loved it. He’d only slept with a couple guys but hell it was nothing like this. It was so goddamn perfect. He lost himself in the momentum and the way Dean touched him, fucked him. Sam let himself be swept up in it with no attempt to hold back. He cried out louder and then the pleasure overwhelmed him to the point where he came, hard, and messy into the sheets, into Dean’s hand. He trembled and then slumped somewhat forward onto his forearms now as Dean’s hips still moved for several moments before the older Winchester came, made him feel messy as fuck and yet so right. “Dean….Deann..” He panted and whined for Dean, a shudder rocked his body. 

“Shit Sammy…” Dean groaned above him, behind him, for a long moment they stayed like this then Dean slowly pulled back, it was almost chilling for him to pull away. Dean coaxed Sam to flop onto his side, just out of the mess in the sheets. Briefly and hilariously Sam couldn’t help the thought that it was good they had the second bed. He giggled and Dean blinked as he kissed his shoulder. 

“What?” He murmured, clearly curious.

“The second…bed is going to be handy.” Sam turned his head somewhat to grin at his brother. Dean snorted at that and then shifted up to kiss the corner of his mouth. Sam sighed into it. He didn’t want to move, but he knew he had to.

“We should shower,” Dean murmured against him, his nose and lips pressed into his neck. “Do you think you can get up?”

“Yeah, just gimme a moment.” Sam breathed now. It was more than five moments if he was honest, but he let himself be manhandled up by his brother and soon they were in the hot shower, pressed into each other, they easily exchanged slow lazy kisses and hands moved to touch. Really touch in ways Sam hadn’t let himself more than dream. The shower felt good, helped him relax further and Dean made sure he was properly cleaned up in minutes. The sheets of his bed felt cool against his skin as he stretched out, Dean joined him in a moment and curled up against his back. A soft sigh left Sam and there was security in the way Dean’s arm slid around him. The soft press of his lips on the back of Sam’s neck.

“It’s okay if you never want this again,” Dean said softly against his skin. “But thank you.”

“Dean, I love you.” Sam said returned quietly, his hand covering his brother’s quickly and squeezing. “I will always want you.”

“You can’t really mean that,” Dean protested in return. “I get it Sammy…”

“No, No Dean I do,” Sam’s foggy brain cleared some and he swallowed. “I have always wanted this, and I won’t stop. I get it if it was...”

“No Sam. I…” Dean paused and then sighed. “I’ve always wanted it too.” 

“Then we figure out how we want to proceed, but I still need to get back to school for than interview…” Sam found the words left him with ease. He wasn’t ready to give up on his college dreams yet.

“Of course Sammy, We can do that. Hopefully we have some answers soon.” Dean agreed and it didn’t even sound like the older Winchester was annoyed which soothed Sam somewhat. Calling Jess tomorrow would be fun, he was sure she’d be smug. 

He was right. It felt good though, to be wrong in this. To hear her laugh and ask him for dirty details. To know that no matter what anyone else thought, this was right. To have Dean next to him as they drove. He could face anything with Dean next to him, beside him in everything. He would, face the future, as long as Dean held him close at night, just like he had the night before. Like he would each night they shared on this crazy trip. Like he would, after Jess burned just like mom. Sam hoped that Dean would never let him go.


End file.
